Jan. 8, 2026 7 AM PT
To the editor: Peter Smith’s latest article left me questioning why efforts to kind social connections typically fail (“Efforts to reconnect Americans face challenges in a lonely time,” Dec. 31). As a psychologist, I consider present interventions fall quick for 2 causes: We take an “all-or-nothing” method to constructing intimacy and we lack the infrastructure to help the spontaneous and frequent interactions wanted to construct belief.
Because the social convoy model suggests, a wholesome help system isn’t constructed from a number of all-purpose relationships, however from quite a lot of individuals who present up for us in several methods. As an immigrant, my “emotional help buddies” stay all around the world — Chicago, San Francisco, India and New Zealand. My “emergency pal,” nevertheless, is a 65-year-old girl who lives down the road. We meet not often, however she is the primary to indicate up with drugs when I’m sick.
Infrastructure within the U.S. makes this drawback worse. Having a social life right here calls for time and planning. Naturally, folks need that effort to be value it and place excessive expectations on every interplay. But when we might meet the identical folks spontaneously and sometimes, with minimal effort, we would really feel extra happy. In India, I can stroll to the park on the finish of my avenue figuring out I’ll stumble upon neighbors, or ask a pal to affix me instantly for avenue meals down the block.
The remedy for loneliness isn’t simply assembly extra folks, however feeling extra moments of connection. To handle the loneliness epidemic, we have to worth the particular function every individual performs, settle for the wants they can not fulfill, and design neighborhoods that help straightforward, frequent social interplay.
Sumana Sri, Claremont
